I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
how does that bad decision feel?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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