sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
