nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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