woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
