So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
