btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
