i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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