she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
