you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
