He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
