I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
