I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
