sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize