That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
