im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
