And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
