thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
