It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
