U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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