I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Farmville is her only friend.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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