i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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