so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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