oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
