i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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