Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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