I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize