He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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