I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
