I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
