only if we run a train.
done.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
