people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
