Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
