i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
