fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
