Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I AM VODKA MAN
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
