I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
