This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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