He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
