They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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