Need sex. Gaining weight.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
