Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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