i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize