the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
