I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
