I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize