If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
