Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She's JV to your varsity
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
