Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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