YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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