Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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