She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
