I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize