yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
