at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You can't special order awesome
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Randomize
