i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Randomize
