if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
