He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
