I'm lost and stupid without you.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
