Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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