I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
