I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
