I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
