I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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