I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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