apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
