My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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